Around the Bend Series edited version
by Lady Lara Black
Summary: love triangle between Harry Potter Hermione Granger and Remus Lupin in songfic form all recognizable characters belong to JK Rowling and the songs belong to their perspective performers no infringement is intended
1. Hermione is out of her Fragile Mind

AN:// Out of mind belongs to Queensryche

Hermione Granger best friend and sometimes lover of Harry Potter,

was standing outside St Mungo's, waiting for news on their friend

and Order of the Phoenix member, Remus Lupin. Somehow he got hurt

on a mission for the order. A mission that Dumbledore needed desperately.

She and Harry took him to St. Mungo's themselves, under some cover story

that she did not even remember. Hermione did not like going there. Not since the attack on Mr. Weasley,

a year previous. Not since she and Harry wondered off into the permanently injured ward, where

she saw those that lost their minds.

**_Little girl sits in the corner_**

_**Locked in a stare**_

_**Arms waving madly at something**_

_**That sadly wasn't there**_

_**Dressed in the days best by a nurse that is nowhere to be found**_

_**What does she see maybe she's looking at me**_

She wondered what it was like to loose your mind.

What did you feel, if anything?

If Voldermort took her mind, would she remember

her family and friends? Would she remember Harry and their

time together? What about Remus?

Would she remember the way that they would read together in comfortable silence?

Would she remember the way he challenged her to think? The way that

his eyes turned amber the nights he changed into a werewolf?

The hungry way he looks at her when he thinks she is not looking?

The way he loved dark chocolate in everything, even his coffee?

Or would Voldemort, with his red eyes and cruel smile, be all that she sees?

_**Old man strapped to a chair hair like a gown**_

_**Shouting and cursing and someone who clearly**_

_**Isn't around**_

_**Father time has clearly twisted his mind**_

_**The staff says he's not well**_

_**To whom does he speak?**_

_**Maybe he's speaking to me**_

With the connection Harry had with Voldemort

would he know if he wanted to attack her?

Would he be so taken over by Voldemort at the time,

that he would not care?

If Harry failed, would Remus come?

Or would he be with Greyback's pack somewhere,

that he could not get to her in time?

_**So we keep these people inside this walls**_

_**Their forgotten lives safe from the crowd**_

_**They can't leave**_

_**You have left him here for me**_

Her thoughts are interrupted by Harry leaving

the hospital tired looking, but hopeful..

"Alright love?" he asked, as he took her in his arms.

"Fine love. What did they say about Remus?" She asks,

as Harry buries his face into her neck. He comes up a moment

to say "He's going to be fine, they are just keeping him for the night"

Then he pulls her close again, to feel how much he needs her now.

"Shall we go home?" At her nod, he kisses her deep and Apararates

them home to Grimmauld Place.

_**So we keep these people inside these walls**_

_**from society**_

_**Their forgotten lives safe from the crowd**_

_**They can't leave**_

_**Though the doors come people like me**_

_**Goodbye to them**_

_**They see a picture that few of us see**_

_**They can't leave**_

_**You've left them here for me**_


	2. The Fragile Mind of Remus Lupin

Beta By Buffy XO and Lynn  
The Fragile is by Nine Inch Nails

Remus Lupin resident Werewolf of the Order of the Phoenix was watching his former student Hermione Granger. Not as a friend would look at another friend, but rather, as a wolf would look at their mate.  
_  
She shines  
In a world full of ugliness  
She matters  
When everything is meaningless_

Moony tormented his soul more and more. Moony wanted to take her, mark her, make her his. This dream haunted him always  
_  
Fragile  
She doesn't see her beauty  
She tries to get away  
Sometimes  
It's just that nothing seems worth saving  
I can't watch her slip away  
__**  
She would walk into the kitchen after long hours of research. He makes them hot chocolate and then they talk. A dribble of hot chocolate falls from his mouth and she leans over to lick it off with a lusty look in her eye. He responds by giving her a deep passionate kiss that leads to so much more. He would nearly tear her shirt and bra in half in his need to worship her.**_

"So beautiful" he would murmur as he would bite and suckle her body driving her insane. Then, he grabs her and lays her on the table pushing the hot chocolate away. He did not care who heard the mug shatter. He would finish undressing her continuing his worship of her body making her scream in frustration and need

_**  
\ "Remus, please," in pent frustration,**_

Remus would loose his control in her voice removing his own trousers and bury himself into her working himself in until she reached her release with a tremendous shout__

I won't let you fall apart  
Hoping someone can see  
If I could fix myself I'd-  
But it's too late for me

That dream would never happen for them. She was with someone else who would be able to protect and care for her better than he could. All he could do was be in the shadows and watch to catch her if she would need him.  
_**  
I won't let you fall apart**_

Meanwhile in the Library, Hermione lay next to a sleeping Harry after they had a session of comfort sex. It was good, as always, but now she was haunted by Remus's face instead of Harry's with his voice filtering into her dreams. In her dream he was holding her, and loving her like no one could.

"Remus … oh Merlin … Remus," she would chant playing with herself in an attempt to relieve her burning pressure.  
_  
We'll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide  
I'll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side  
But they keep waiting  
And picking  
It's something I have to do  
I was there, too  
Before everything else  
I was like you  
_  
She knew that her dream would not come true. She was with Harry and he was with Tonks. She knew that she loved Harry, didn't she?


	3. Harry's Fragile World

Harry's Fragile World

Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, had gone through disappointment and devastation through his life. At the tender age of one year, His mother and father where murdered and he was scarred, physically, psychically and emotionally from that moment on. He was left in the care of his aunt and uncle, who could care less about him and kept his heritage a secret.

I'd listen to the words he'd say

_**But in his voice i heard decay**_

The mark left on him condemned him to loose his self and his body at times. He did not know who he was half the time. His anchor from the beginning where the Weasleys, Ron and the Twins in Particular, Hagrid, and Hermione.

Hermione.

_**The plastic face forced to portray**_

All the insides left cold and gray

He had always needed her in some way shape or form. Her intelligence, her courage, her problem solving skills and later years her beauty.

_**There is a place that still remains**_

_**It eats the fear it eats the pain**_

She was there when he found Remus Lupin, a mentor and father figure, only to loose him when he resigned. She was there Sirius appeared to be dangerous, stood by him and Harry when it was proven not to be a mass murderer, he was innocent and was there to protect him. She stood by him and helped him break Sirius free, but on the run. She was there when his dreams of going to a home other than the Dursley's, somewhere he would be loved shattered. She was there when he lost Sirius for the second time, killed in a battle in the Department of Mysteries by his cousin Bellatrix Lestrange.

It was then that their affair had started.

He could remember as if it where yesterday. It was his first time as well as her own. He relied on what he was told In the awkward moments, how she appreciated his body and gave him comfort in her body and compassion.

She was there from that moment on, lessening his devastation over losing Dumbledore and to comfort him in his fear over what he had to do. She was there in his shock that he was forced to watch Snape kill Dumbledore and could do nothing. When he was really desperate and in need he went to her. Now it was to the point that they slept together at all times comforting each other over the horror of it all.

Then a year later he received word that Remus was in trouble and needed help. News that shocked him to the core. He could not stand to loose him, the only piece of his father that he had left. So he and Hermione Apparated to where he was and took him to Saint Mungos. He looked dreadful, his lightly scarred face pale as a sheet, shirt open to reveal a rather nasty claw marks that he almost could see the bone, and he was barely breathing.

But it was the look that Hermione had on her face that was the shocking part of all. She had the look that someone had when someone they had loved was dying. The cruelest twist of fate that their was. The two people he loved most in life where in love with each other. As Remus healed, he noticed the looks that passed in between them, the look of lust and unresolved tension.

It was then that his world was truly rocked to the core and went away.

_**The sweetest price he'll have to pay**_

The day the whole world went away

_**Na na nah**_

_**Na na na, nah**_

_**Na na nah**_

_**Na na na , nah**_


	4. The Fragile Mind of Hermione Granger

/n: Title inspired by the song "The Fragile" by Nine Inch Nails the song "Rinse" is from Vanessa Carlton ( I know I used it before but I could not think of anything else that would go with the theme)

The wild haired witch known as Hermione Granger was lying on the sofa of Grimmauld Place library taking a break from her studies to rest her eyes. Well at least that is what she hoped that the others would think. Lately she has been having trouble with concentration due to her guilt over her love/lust for someone she could never have.

IB

She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye

She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise

She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright

For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight/I/B

She wondered months ago what it would be like to loose her mind, now she believed she could understand. She was in a relationship with her best friend Harry Potter, someone she loved in many ways. They were best friends first supporting each other through all the rough patches. Then Voldemort returned and she needed someone and he was there. The friendship evolved to comfort sex and support in a terrible and costly war that they lost people they cared about.

Ib

She must rinse this all away

She can't hold him this way

She must rinse this all away

She can't love him this way /I/b

Somewhere along the line she feel in love with someone else, her former professor Remus Lupin. She did not mean for it to happen, she was not the type of girl that would cheat with the person they were with. She had always like Remus since the day they met in her third year. He was kind, patient worldly and took all troubles in life with a sense of humor. Attributes that made her care for him even more when it was exposed as a werewolf.

Ib

How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see

She needs to be held in his arms to be free

But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand

'til she knows the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man/I/b

She and Remus became friends after he resigned when he joined the Order of the Phoenix a society dedicated to the defeat the dark wizard Voldemort. Pleasing Harry to no end, Remus was the last surviving friend of his late father. In a way Remus became his father for Harry since he had no one else. His father and godfather had all had passed on leaving Harry craving someone to fill that void

Ib

And if she runs away she fears she won't be followed

What could be the worse than leaving something behind

And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow

It's loneliness she finds...

If only he was mine/I/b

It was what made the problem so difficult, she feel in love with someone that Harry loved above all others. It was a betrayal the worst kind, but somehow she could not stop herself. On top of that guilt she had the guilt of wanting someone that one of her friends was with. The witch knew that it would hurt Tonks who was seeing Remus,a fellow member of the Order of the Phoenix and one of her few girlfriends. It was evident to Hermione that Tonks loved Remus very much. She was very happy with him and as any good friend she supported them feeling guilty for the jealousy in the pit of her stomach.

Ib

She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye

She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise

She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright

For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight/I/b

She did not know how deeply she fell in love with him until the day he almost died on performing his duties as an Order member. She and Harry rushed to Saint Mungos to get him help leaving her frightened and shocked to the core at the thought of loosing him. Thanks to his werewolf healing ability he was able to survive and make a full recovery.

In a perfect world they would share but it was not, Tonks was not the type who would want to share. That left only her dreams.

b

She must rinse him

She must rinse him

She can't rinse him

She can't rinse him

/b

He would be in Harry's place hold her, comfort her and touch her like one else had.

IB

She can't, she won't, she must rinse him

She can't, she won't, she must rinse him

/I/b

She sighed and sat up picking the book on Hecruxes up once again. They will be leaving to hunt them down in two days time, she had to be prepared. Pushing her lust and need away she focused on her mission to keep the people she loved safe and secure, leaving her desires to the night when it would most likely haunt her again.

IB

She must rinse this all away

She can't hold him this way

She must rinse this all away

She can't love him this way

/I/b


	5. Fragile Minds in the Garden of G and E

Fragile Minds in the Garden of Good and Evil

Harry looks over to his lover now asleep. They have been destroying Hecruxs alone, after the unfortunate death of their best friend Ron. They have managed to destroy all but two, the last two that remained at Voldemort's side.

_**Every time I look in the mirror**_

_**All these lines on my face getting clearer**_

_**The past is gone**_

_**It goes by, like dusk to dawn**_

_**Isn't that the way**_

_**Everybody's got their dues in life to pay**_

He should be proud of their accomplishments and be happy and look forward to a future with the woman he loved. That was what should be, but is not the case.

_**Yeah, I know nobody knows**_

_**where it comes and where it goes**_

_**I know it's everybody's sin**_

You got to lose to know how to win

The woman he loved did not love him the same way or as deeply as he loved her. That was not the part that bothered him, she never lied to him about her feelings. The problem was that she fell deeply in love/lust with his mentor, brother/father figure and friend Remus Lupin.

_**Half my life**_

_**is in books' written pages**_

Lived and learned from fools and

_**from sages**_

_**You know it's true**_

_**All the things come back to you**_

The two people he loved most in this life wanted each other. He could see them watch each other want each other. Remus has always been kind and respectful of him, he never spoke of his attraction, or made a move on Hermione. But since his hospital stay when he first noticed their attraction to each other, Harry could see the predatory glance of Moony come out more and more. He would see him watch Harry and Hermione together eyes burning

_**Sing with me, sing for the year**_

_**Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears**_

_**Sing with me, if it's just for today**_

_**Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away**_

Harry trusted Remus like no other person on earth, but he knew that his dark side of his personality, that everyone has, is darker and more primal than most. It was not an easy concept to grasp, the dichotomy of the kind, compassionate, gentleman that was Remus Lupin and the force that Remus and his school friends called "his furry little problem" or Moony. Remus was the kind that would never try to break up a relationship, force anyone into something that he or she would not want to do. In fact he would be the first to say he was not good enough and force the person away. Moony on the other hand from the little he understood, would not care about the behavior expected among friends, or the decorum of society in general, and take what he wanted without remorse or a second thought.

_**Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year**_

_**sing for the laughter, sing for the tear**_

_**sing with me, if it's just for today**_

Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

It was a terrible dilemma to be in, he wanted to hate Remus and kill him for the hold he had on Hermione, and his relationship. He on the other hand understood that there are some impulses he has that are difficult to control that could rule him at times of the month and that he hated himself for when the impulses go away.

_**Dream On Dream On Dream On**_

_**Dream until your dreams come true**_

_**Dream On Dream On Dream On**_

_**Dream until your dream comes through**_

A conflict in him that was made worse when the three months ago, he heard his Hermione say Remus's name in her sleep. He had enough and finally confronted her about the whole thing when they were at his parents' grave at Godric Hollow. She broke down and confessed to everything down to her dreams that were haunting her for months and the guilt for hurting him. He thanked her for finally being honest with him and would not talk to her unless it was necessary on their mission. For the two months he slept outside trying to sort out his feelings.

Dream On Dream On

_**Dream On**_

_**Dream On Dream On**_

_**Dream On Dream On**_

Harry finally decided to form a plan that he hoped would solve the problem

_**Sing with me, sing for the year**_

_**sing for the laughter, sing for the tear**_

_**sing with me, if it's just for today**_

Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

He went to her in the tent and said "Hermione we need to talk"

_**Sing with me, sing for the year**_

_**sing for the laughter, sing for the tear**_

_**Sing with me, if it's just for today**_

_**Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away.....**_


	6. Confessions of a Fragile Mind

A/N "Every day is exactly the same" by Nine Inch Nails Title inspired by the book "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" The last installment of the Series. I hope you enjoyed it

Remus was sitting in his room drinking firewisky, something that he has been doing a lot of lately. He was not sure if it was his grief over loosing his friends and Tonks, or wanting to dull his instincts as much as possible so his wolf does not hurt Harry and Hermione, all he knew is that it was all that filled his life now.

_**  
i believe i can see the future  
because i repeat the same routine  
i think i used to have a purpose  
and then again that might have been a dream  
i think i used to have a voice  
now i never make a sound  
i just do what i've been told  
i really don't want them to come around, oh no**_

The war was now over, they had won. But like many wars they suffered heavy losses, only Remus, Hermione and Harry survived. He did not know what was worse, the torture when they were away unsure if they were alive or dead or the torture of knowing that Moony was starting to win. To make him want Harry and Hermione more and more not caring how he attained them or if they were willing to be taken.

_**  
every day is exactly the same  
there is no love here and there is no pain  
every day is exactly the same**_

James and Lily and Sirius thought him of as a good man. They stood by him when others had sunned him. He stood by Harry, as he knew they would have wanted him to. He grew to like respect and admire the man that Harry has become, a good man like his parents and godfather. He was so like James, at times he would forget that it was he and allow the lust/love he always had for James surface and rest on him. A good man would not want his best friends son, plot fuck the woman he loved in all the known positions known to man as he watched. Harry looked up to him as mentor, and father figure, the person he trusted above all others, something he mentioned more than one occasion, and was there for him during the hard times of the full moon when they lost Snape.

A good man would not force a woman to do anything that they did not want to do as Moony whispers in his ear to do, especially not the guardian angel whom he loved with all his heart. He always liked her since the day they met all those years ago. She supported him and kept his secret when she found out he was a werewolf and never judged him. Not even when he transformed that night and nearly killed her Harry and Sirius. Somehow she remained his friend and was always there for him during the full moon to give him comfort and understanding. The idea of hurting her just was incomprehensible. His need for her has become all that he could think about now that Moony needed her. He is capable of forcing Hermione and deep down in the darkest part of his soul a small sliver of Remus would not care as long as he could have her to touch taste, smell or feel her under him, crying out his name. So to save them from himself he stays in his room avoids them at all costs and drinks himself into oblivion. He would not do anything to hurt them in any sense if he could help it; the idea of it broke his heart. Remus's mind however did not always connect to his heart or rational thinking; he desire manifested itself into dreams that haunt him night and day driving him to near madness  
_**  
i can feel their eyes are watching  
in case i lose myself again  
sometimes i think i'm happy here  
sometimes i still pretend  
i can't remember how this all got started  
but i can tell you - exactly - how it will end**_

He would wake surrounded in his release, thankful and mournful at the same time that it was only a dream. He looks down at the gun his mother attainted long ago. He still did not know why he kept it, but now he is thankful that he did. He removes silver bullets from his side table drawer and loads it, the only real way to end his suffering and insure the safety of those he loves.

_**  
every day is exactly the same  
every day is exactly the same  
there is no love here and there is no pain  
every day is exactly the same**__  
_

"Please don't Remus" a familiar voice pleaded from the doorway of his room. He turns to see Harry in his pajama bottoms and robe. Remus turns away not able to look at Harry.  
"It is the only thing I know to do to protect you Harry. Please go away and leave me alone." Staring at his own pajama clad lap, too ashamed to look Harry in the eye.

"I know what is going on Remus, you want Hermione, and you are afraid Moony will hurt her."

Remus turns at him startled at his words, he never thought Harry had an idea about this.

_**  
i'm writing on a little piece of paper  
i'm hoping someday you might find  
i'll hide it behind something  
**_

"I knew since the day Hermione and I rescued you from the werewolf ambush. To be fair Hermione wants you too and did not know how to handle it. Finally I confronted her during our mission together and she admitted it." Harry sighed and sat in the old chair across from the bed that Remus was sitting on. "I died Remus, I never told you that but I did. While I was dead Sirius came to me, warning me about what you might do to yourself out of misplaced fear. He suggested that being together would make us happy and prevent you from doing something foolish. My mum dad and Tonks agreed."

_**they don't look behind  
i am still inside here  
a little bit comes bleeding through  
i wish this could have been any other way  
i just don't know what else i can do**_

"They give their blessing to whatever makes us happy and I think that the three of us together will make us happy. We want you Remus, the question is do you want us?"  
__

_**every day is exactly the same  
every day is exactly the same  
there is no love here and there is no pain  
every day is exactly the same  
every day is exactly the same  
every day is exactly the same  
there is no love here and there is no pain  
every day is exactly the same  
Every day is the same**_  
_**  
**_

Remus sat there stunned. He never thought that he would be hearing this. Remus looked into Harry's eyes and saw need, concern and a tinge of lust. The truth is Harry and Hermione was all he had left, what reason would he have to deny them? Remus nodded and put his gun back in his drawer and allowed Harry to take his hand to the bedroom were Hermione was laying in bed waiting for them  
_**  
**_  
The End?


End file.
